What would be a good name for cereal based on the unfortunate events book 5?

Here are some cereal names inspired by The Unfortunate Events book 5, "The Austere Academy":

Playing on the Academy Setting:

* Austere Crunch

* Academy O's

* The Disciplinarian's Delight

* The Count Olaf's Academy Crunch

* The Ersatz Edu-Crunch

Playing on the Plot:

* The Missing Fortune Flakes

* The Poisoned Puffs

* The Escaped Students' Cereal

* The Mysterious Ingredient Crunch

Playing on the Tone:

* The Gloomy Grains

* The Morose Munchies

* The Melancholy Meal

Humorous Options:

* The Count Olaf's "Not-So-Delicious" Crunch

* The "We're Not Allowed to Have Fun" Cereal

* The "I'm Not Going to School Today" Crunch

Bonus:

* You could even incorporate the "VFD" (VFD) into the name, maybe "VFD Cereal" or "VFD Flakes" to add a mysterious element.

Remember to also consider the type of cereal: Would it be a breakfast cereal, a snack cereal, or even a cereal for adults?